Think this is it today

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We are all on the same stuff

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Most Of The Medication Here Is The Same Per Patient. I read up on some Japanese testing that went horribly wrong to do with the medication that we take in these hospitals.  17 patients died in Japan due to testing of medication. There probably won't have been that many subjects either but the Medication is still used to date in the UK. I couldn't believe that I take the same medication that killed 17 Japanese patients. Anyway so we are all sitting here with coronavirus going on unable and not fit enough to go anywhere, it is not that we are being poisoned because presumably the medication was reviewed before it hit the market, It is only a presumption and most of the patients here are as pale as the magnolia walls, you know a blue/grey kinda colour. I am struggling on theses medications to maintain focus and drive, every time I try to do something slightly complicated it all becomes a mess. Been watching a brilliant T.V Episode lately, sometimes the end is not soon enough thoug...
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Just Too Little And Too Much

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  From Zero To Zero Hero Before I came into hospital my mind I suppose was over active. Used to do all sorts of things now I have nothing, my mind is plain and boring. I have this crooked neck problem which needs attention pretty soon which could be causing some of the problem, i.e. not letting dopamine flow properly out of the system. Our spinal chords are the exit for used brain chemicals, they flow over the top of the membrane down the spinal chord through our kidneys. Having a crooked neck however could stop the free flowing chemicals from doing their jobs properly and cause a psychotic breakdown. So With tablets I am able to function, but not on a very high level, hence Zero to Zero Hero.  
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My Days are Boring

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  It's The Same Old Day Every Day Makes me want to get away, instead of adding variety my days have been getting more and more similar every day. I was listening to some very calming classical music on Spotify for studying, it really relaxes me but makes me very aware of my surroundings, my surroundings are quite stressful at the moment and it is not so easy to relax. So there is obviously the oddness from being in a stressful environment with high wired patients and being calmed down by the music whilst still feeling quite lively.  I feel quite calm to be fair it's not too bad being here. My brain cannot process as well as it used to be able to, I have tried to refresh on some programming languages and it doesn't make a huge amount of sense to me, hence my understanding and memory is going down hill at a rate of knots. I think I said something out of boredom yesterday and was thinking about things in a world of my own not considering everything. I can't have moments li...
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