The New Start

-

It's Going Well

I am finding that life is going well, I am out of hospital now and things are going much better, I am starting to enjoy life again.

I cannot wait until I am finally out of the rut again, I am really having to kick my self in the mornings to get up get on and do things and the sadness of not being with someone has kicked in. Yes I would be referring to a specific person when I say those things I mean my ex-girlfriend, whom I am not quite over yet, but time is a healer and our time together was very rocky and I don't think well really had a fair chance with everything that was going on in her life and in mine, so I feel quite sad that she decided to give up on us, never mind though, plenty more fish in the sea.

I am looking forwards to a new life now without so much mess I hope. I have no responsibilities and no major worries in life, I should be fine getting on with it then?

I have come back to my main base (my flat) and seriously I had to give my self a proper kick to get the place clean and tidy ready to be a home again, now I have done that I am looking to do the next bit and hopefully I will be able to keep it up motivating my self from step to step.

Feeling much happier...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We are all on the same stuff

-
Most Of The Medication Here Is The Same Per Patient. I read up on some Japanese testing that went horribly wrong to do with the medication that we take in these hospitals.  17 patients died in Japan due to testing of medication. There probably won't have been that many subjects either but the Medication is still used to date in the UK. I couldn't believe that I take the same medication that killed 17 Japanese patients. Anyway so we are all sitting here with coronavirus going on unable and not fit enough to go anywhere, it is not that we are being poisoned because presumably the medication was reviewed before it hit the market, It is only a presumption and most of the patients here are as pale as the magnolia walls, you know a blue/grey kinda colour. I am struggling on theses medications to maintain focus and drive, every time I try to do something slightly complicated it all becomes a mess. Been watching a brilliant T.V Episode lately, sometimes the end is not soon enough thoug...
Read more

Just Too Little And Too Much

-
  From Zero To Zero Hero Before I came into hospital my mind I suppose was over active. Used to do all sorts of things now I have nothing, my mind is plain and boring. I have this crooked neck problem which needs attention pretty soon which could be causing some of the problem, i.e. not letting dopamine flow properly out of the system. Our spinal chords are the exit for used brain chemicals, they flow over the top of the membrane down the spinal chord through our kidneys. Having a crooked neck however could stop the free flowing chemicals from doing their jobs properly and cause a psychotic breakdown. So With tablets I am able to function, but not on a very high level, hence Zero to Zero Hero.  
Read more

My Days are Boring

-
  It's The Same Old Day Every Day Makes me want to get away, instead of adding variety my days have been getting more and more similar every day. I was listening to some very calming classical music on Spotify for studying, it really relaxes me but makes me very aware of my surroundings, my surroundings are quite stressful at the moment and it is not so easy to relax. So there is obviously the oddness from being in a stressful environment with high wired patients and being calmed down by the music whilst still feeling quite lively.  I feel quite calm to be fair it's not too bad being here. My brain cannot process as well as it used to be able to, I have tried to refresh on some programming languages and it doesn't make a huge amount of sense to me, hence my understanding and memory is going down hill at a rate of knots. I think I said something out of boredom yesterday and was thinking about things in a world of my own not considering everything. I can't have moments li...
Read more