It's The Same Old Day Every Day Makes me want to get away, instead of adding variety my days have been getting more and more similar every day. I was listening to some very calming classical music on Spotify for studying, it really relaxes me but makes me very aware of my surroundings, my surroundings are quite stressful at the moment and it is not so easy to relax. So there is obviously the oddness from being in a stressful environment with high wired patients and being calmed down by the music whilst still feeling quite lively. I feel quite calm to be fair it's not too bad being here. My brain cannot process as well as it used to be able to, I have tried to refresh on some programming languages and it doesn't make a huge amount of sense to me, hence my understanding and memory is going down hill at a rate of knots. I think I said something out of boredom yesterday and was thinking about things in a world of my own not considering everything. I can't have moments li...
Drugs Have Probably Played A Part I have probably subjected my my self to the exposure of drugs far to many times. My brain doesn't cope with them too well and thus I end up taking a rough and rocky road. My mental health declines quite a lot when I am exposed to them. I always feel it's not the drugs its the people. There has been quite a few knock backs for me on drugs such as weed and cocaine. I am not a regular user but the do take their toll over a period of time having taken them. I have been pretty much clean for a few years now and I feel that I am doing well. I still have this ongoing niggling about technology and things though, very hard to get rid of these thoughts.
It's Going Well I am finding that life is going well, I am out of hospital now and things are going much better, I am starting to enjoy life again. I cannot wait until I am finally out of the rut again, I am really having to kick my self in the mornings to get up get on and do things and the sadness of not being with someone has kicked in. Yes I would be referring to a specific person when I say those things I mean my ex-girlfriend, whom I am not quite over yet, but time is a healer and our time together was very rocky and I don't think well really had a fair chance with everything that was going on in her life and in mine, so I feel quite sad that she decided to give up on us, never mind though, plenty more fish in the sea. I am looking forwards to a new life now without so much mess I hope. I have no responsibilities and no major worries in life, I should be fine getting on with it then? I have come back to my main base (my flat) and seriously I had to give my self a proper k...
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